My Life Goals

I cannot believe how great I’ve been doing this past month.  I almost feel guilty saying that knowing there’s lots of you out there who aren’t faring as well as me.  A little over a month ago things looked pretty dismal.  I had no motivation or hope that I would ever go back to my normal life.

I actually feel normal.  I feel happy and hopeful.

I’m making goals and working to achieve them.

I started running.  I have already registered for my first race in 8 months, a 5k in March.  I’m not going to over train this time but train smartly. I’m going to work to get my speed back this spring and get ready for a half marathon in the fall.  Just like I planned to do last year before the bipolar took over.

I’ve started the process of getting enrolled in school.  I have met with the counselor to explain what happened last semester and why I didn’t do as well as hoped.  I am meeting with disability services to work out my accommodations; something I should have done a long time ago.  I want to make sure I do everything possible to make sure I am successful this time.

So next month is my 27th birthday.  I’m coming close to 30.  That’s a scary birthday.  It’s the time your apparently supposed to “have your life together.”  Well I’m nowhere near that yet.

By the time I’m 30 I have two things I wish to accomplish:

I want to obtain my degree in business.

I want to be able to run a 7:00 mile.

Those are big goals that will require a lot of dedication and work.  In order to accomplish them I’m going to have to do one thing: stay stable.

So here’s one more goal.

Continue this blog to hold myself accountable.

As long as I’m recording my feelings and moods maybe then I can recognize when things are going awry.  And as long as I’m writing about my bipolar disorder than maybe I will never forget about it.  That’s the problem.  I forget about it and let it sneak up on me.

So I can’t let it happen this time.